


The Best Way to Spread Christmas Cheer

by MeChewChew



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, M/M, Parody, ShinraHoliday2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28328637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeChewChew/pseuds/MeChewChew
Summary: is singing loud for all to hear.a Buddy the ELF parody but with Cait Sith :)
Relationships: Reeve Tuesti/Vincent Valentine
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: Shinra Holiday 2020





	The Best Way to Spread Christmas Cheer

**Author's Note:**

> secret santa gift for @reevenation and for Shinra Holiday 2020!

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!”

Vincent blinks. And blinks once more. He rubs his eyes just to make sure this is real.

Unfortunately, it appears so.

He was on his way back from work when this…feline creature rolled into his feet, first the size of a gumball then unfurling into the size of a large cat. It wore white gloves and large shoes, a small Santa hat rested between its ears.

And for some reason that Vincent couldn’t fathom, it had a Scottish accent.

“Come now Vincent me boy, Christmas is just around the corner!”

“What do you want with me.”

The cat shakes its head, tsks, and jumps up excitedly, “My name is Cait Sith and I come from the North Pole! I’m your son!”

Vincent sighs and closes his eyes, a throbbing pain surging in his head.

“If you’re from the North Pole, why are you Scottish?” He shakes his head. “Never mind. I don’t want to know. I already have a son. He’s not a cat.”

He turns around and continues going back home, only to have his foot run into something and kick it forward.

Cait Sith lands with a huff and pops back up again, coming to jump onto his shoulder. “What’re you doin’, it’s almost Christmas, where’s yer Christmas spirit!”

“I have deadlines.” Vincent grunts, continues walking despite the creature weighing him down.

“Ah, bah humbug, it’s Christmas time! The best time of the year! It’s my mission to get ya off the naughty list this year if it’s the last thing I do!” Cait yells into his ear.

“Then perish.” Vincent grumbles, unlocks the door to his home and is immediately assaulted by boughs of holly and lights so colorful his vision swirls.

“What-”

“Father!”

He drops his suitcase as he’s brought into a crushing hug, feels his back crack.

“Reevebot, too strong,” he wheezes, pats his back tryingly.

“Sorry, father.”

He’s let go and sighs in relief, smoothing his suit back down.

“What is your dad doing and what is all of this?” He gestures vaguely to, well, everything in the house.

“Me and Cait decorated for Christmas!”

“What.”

Cait jumps from his shoulder and into Reevebot’s arms, both of them falling to the ground in a fit of laughter.

Vincent picks up his suitcase and steps around them, into the kitchen.

“Honey. What is happening?” He deadpans, looking around to see that the kitchen has also been assaulted with Christmas.

“Hm?” Reeve turns around, apron flapping around him. “What do you mean?”

“The cat. Why- Where- How- What is it doing here?” He sputters.

“His name is Cait Sith and he is family.” Reeve crosses his arms, shoos him away when he tries to protest.

Vincent retreats to his room, sits on the widow sill, and resists banging his head into the glass. “What the fuck is going on.”

-

He wakes up the next morning to a crushing weight on his chest, taking all the wind out of him. His hand shoots out and grabs onto whatever it is and meets fur. He growls and rips Cait off of him, tossing him to the ground.

“Vincent!” Reeve scrambles out of bed beside him, kneels down to take Cait into his arms and cradle the creature as it cries into his chest.

“For fuck’s sake-”

“Vincent! Don’t curse around our new son!”

“I’m going to work.” He hauls himself out of bed and trips as Cait bursts out of Reeve’s arms and into his way again.

“No! We’re goin’ shopping today, I’ve already called you out of work for the holiday!” Cait wails, crawls up his leg and onto his shoulder again.

“You. What.”

“It’s Christmas Eve and you don’t have a single present ready!”

Vincent reaches up to strangle the cat but Reeve catches his arm, gives him _a look_ , and Vincent deflates with a heavy sigh.

“You threw him on the ground, dear, the least you could do is spend the day with him as an apology,” Reeve reasons. “Oh, and take Reevebot with you two. It will be a cute father-sons day.”

“But-”

Reeve flutters his lashes, looks up at him with a slight pout, and Vincent…Vincent is a weak, weak man.

“Fine.”

Reeve smiles brightly and pats Cait’s head, scratching until he purrs, then leaves a kiss on Vincent’s cheek and wishes them a merry day.

Once he’s gone from sight, Vincent grabs Cait by the scruff of his neck and holds him an arms length in front of him.

“I hate you.”

Cait just smiles cheekily.

-

He’s gonna puke.

This store is so bright and festive it makes his head hurt.

Cait and Reevebot have dragged him around the mall for half an hour already and he’s sick of it. This store though, is definitely the worse so far.

There are kids running amuck and he hears a familiar “ho ho ho” before Cait and Reevebot rush past him to go meet Santa.

Vincent meanders his way through the crowds and he can see the exit _right there._

“YOU’RE NOT SANTA!”

He freezes and turns around, sees a live moment of disaster when Cait jumps onto the man and starts pulling at his beard.

There’s pandemonium in the store and Vincent watches in horror as Reevebot rises to pull Cait off of the man while a gaggle of elf-dressed employees circle around Santa like some secret service guards.

Vincent slips out of the store and stands by the entrance with a pounding headache.

He hears some shuffling behind him and turns to see Reevebot step out followed by an employee with long, black hair holding onto Cait very much like how Vincent was holding him this morning.

“You’re banned. Merry Christmas.”

The employee drops Cait onto the floor and turns back around promptly, disappearing back into the store.

Reevebot kneels down to poke at Cait’s cheek, wave a hand in front of his face.

“Cait?”

“Did ya see that, lads?” Cait says reverently, “That was the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.”

“Please don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love at first sight.” Vincent says, pushes himself off the wall with a huff.

“His name is Tseng…” Cait says wistfully.

“You should ask him out, Cait!” Reevebot encourages, setting the cat back on his feet and brushing him off.

“No.” Vincent picks up Cait with one hand and makes their way to the plaza, “You’re a cat. He’s a human.”

“Love has no boundaries,” Cait cries, struggles in Vincent’s hold.

“I’m going to drop you into the trash.”

“Please don’t, it’s Christmas!”

“It’s December 24th.”

Cait whines and a smile crawls up Vincent’s lips.

-

They’re nearly home when Cait screams out his name again and disappears into the crowd at the park.

Vincent only has to glance at Reevebot once before they’re both sprinting after him, gift bag for his husband around his arm.

The park is barely lit at this time of night when the Christmas tree is the center of attention. It takes some hunting, but Reevebot makes out Cait’s form and they run over by a bench and see a man in red under a large sled, cursing a storm up.

Vincent doesn’t know what possesses it to slip out of his mouth, but he finds himself saying it aloud.

“Santa?”

“Yer damn right,” Santa slides out from under his sleigh, cigarette hanging between his lips as he stands up with a huff and eyes him head to toe.

Vincent cocks his head to the side, furrows his brows.

“Wait, it’s just Cid?”

“Always has been,” Cait answers from the dash board of the sleigh where he and Reevebot are working with the control panel.

“Well,” Cid grunts, “are ya gonna help or what?”

Vincent looks between the three of them, “what do you expect me to do?”

Before Cid- Santa? can respond, they hear a deep rumbling coming towards them.

“What is that?” Vincent looks into the distance where huge lights are shining into the sky.

“The Turks.” Cid hisses, drops his cigarette and stomps it out. “The dark security of this city. They’re a menace every goddamn year.”

“Hurry up fellas,” Cid hops back into the sleigh, “she’s not gonna move on her own.”

“We don’ have enough Christmas spirit to fly, Sir!” Cait yells, banging on the dash board.

“I’ll go help try to rally some Christmas spirit!” Reevebot jumps off the sleigh and runs out of the park.

“Just start the engine, we don’t have much time!” Cid hollers, takes the reins and pulls.

The machinery roars and the sleigh barely lifts off the ground, floating just slightly. It’s evident that they won’t be able to outrun the Turks as the rumbling comes closer.

“Give me your coat,” Vincent runs up to the sleigh and reaches his hand out.

“What?”

“Give me it!”

Cid huffs and takes the robe off of him messily and tosses it over the side. Vincent drapes it over himself and yells at them to go. He’ll distract the Turks.

Cid curses and Cait yells his name as the sleigh takes off, banging into the ground as it skits forward.

Vincent prepares himself, robes fluttering around him as horses race towards him, figures clad in black suits zoning in on him. They circle around him once and Vincent squints.

“You’re the elves from the mall!”

They don’t acknowledge him, instead leaving him in the dust as they race forward to their real target.

Vincent runs after them and when it’s evident that he will not be catching up to them, he diverts his direction to where Reevebot went.

His son has evidently gotten the attention of the masses and has started caroling, the group getting louder and louder as more join in. Vincent slips through the crowd and finds Reeve, clinging onto his arm with a relieved sigh.

“Oh dear, what are you wearing?” Reeve eyeballs him, “Not that it doesn’t look good on you, of course.”

Vincent shakes his head and waves his hand, “long story.”

Reevebot picks up another carol, belting his heart out and raising his arms up for people to join him. Spirits are high and Vincent finds his hand hovering over his husband’s.

He commits.

Their fingers intertwine and a warmth rises to his cheeks. Reeve sings along beside him and looks over with a brow raised, squeezing his hand.

“Aren’t you going to sing?”

“I-” Vincent stutters, shrugging his shoulders.

He watches and listens to the crowd around him, leaning against Reeve.

_‘The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!’_

The words ring in his ear and he sighs. He opens his mouth just slightly and sings under his breath.

“Louder, dear, or else Santa won’t hear you,” Reeve chuckles next to him.

Vincent has half a mind to tell him who Santa is, but rolls his eyes and plays along just for his husband.

“Santa Claus is coming to town,” he sings a notch louder, eyes widening as a sleigh appears behind his son and flies into the sky.

He can hear Cait cheering from where he stands and he watches astonished as his new son and Cid-Santa float off with a resounding boom from the crowd.

“Cait-?”

Reeve turns his head and places a chaste kiss on Vincent’s cheek. “Don’t worry, I have several more Caits in the basement.”

“What.”

“I made him.”

“We’re going to have a talk when we get home.”

“Alright, but after Reevebot has his fun.”


End file.
